During May we, at The Spence Practice, are focussing on stress and its impact on our physical, emotional and mental health. Stress is like electricity; we need some to turn us on but too much and we blow a fuse. One side effect of not being able to cope with too much pressure over a prolonged period (ie stress) is depression.
When people become depressed they become very introspective, and find it difficult to focus on anything else but themselves and tend to avoid contact with other human beings.
We seem to have created a culture that focuses on the survival of the fittest and many people attribute this to Maggie Thatcher who famously declared that “there is no such thing as society”. Does this mean that we are just a collection of individuals who happen to be involved in a race for the survival of the fittest? Since the early 1980’s we have become obsessed by the notion that success can be measured; and that performance targets can be set and meeting those targets takes precedence over other considerations which are difficult to measure; such as happiness, common sense and decency. Do you enjoy constantly trying to achieve targets at work, do they motivate you or do you feel under excessive pressure resulting in stress?
Are we human beings driven by greed and selfish genes or are we naturally and instinctively creatures who need to co-operate with each other. Think about what gives you real pleasure and happiness; is it the pursuit of wealth and the collection of material possessions or is it doing something helpful for someone else or have someone do something to help you?
Whilst watching The Royal Wedding coverage on TV I was struck by the sense of community spirit; seeing the crowds lining the streets of London and from the many street parties taking place all over the country and how happy everyone seemed to be. This happiness appeared to be generated from watching someone else who is very happy and in love.
When depressed our view of the world becomes distorted; the depressed person tends to think everything is wrong, will always be wrong, and it is all their fault and that nothing can be done about it. The following is an example of how this way of thinking can be dramatically turned around. Milton Erickson, an iconic figure from the world of hypnotherapy and psychotherapy, gave an account of what he called the ’African violet Lady’.
One of Erickson’s patients had asked him to visit his aunt, a middle aged woman who had never married. She had a private income and a housekeeper, maid and gardener to take care of everything for her, but she had fallen out with her family and had become deeply withdrawn and depressed. When Erickson arrived he told her that he was a doctor and that her nephew had asked him to visit. To get some sense of her life he asked her for a guided tour of her house. Whilst being shown around every room in the house he noticed three beautiful African violets of different colours in full bloom and a potting shed in which she was propagating another African violet. (African violets are very delicate and are easily killed by neglect) He also noticed that she was a woman of faith which he deduced from the presence of a large open bible and several church magazines.
Armed with this information he challenged the depth of her faith on the grounds that she wasn’t using her god-given gifts in the way that she should and this was the first comment that grabbed her attention. This was in the days when doctors orders were more likely to be respected and obeyed and so he gave her what he called some medical orders which must be carried out and she agreed. He ordered her to send her housekeeper to a florist to get a variety of African violets and she was instructed to take good care of them. He then told her to purchase 200 gift pots and 50 potting pots and plenty of potting soil. He then told her to break off a leaf from each of the violets and plant it in a potting pot and grow additional African violets until mature. She was then ordered to send one to every baby that’s born in any family in her church, to be a good Christian and send one to the family of every baby christened in her church, to everyone who is sick, to everyone getting married and as a condolence in cases of death.
Erickson only saw this woman once and it was soon reported that her depression had lifted and when she died in her 70’s the local newspaper recorded the fact that ‘The African Violet queen of Milwaukee has died’. Erickson commented that “anybody that takes care of that many African violets is too busy to be depressed”.
Erickson assessed what emotional needs were unfulfilled in this Lady’s life and then focused her attention and made her promise to do something that he new would re-engage her with the community. He devised a therapy specifically for her; one that she could keep up independently and is a great example of solution-focused therapy and how it can lift depression quickly.
Could you survive just by thinking about yourself all the time or do you need to grow and develop as a human being by getting involved with other members of the community. Smaller communities around the world not yet subjected to western consumerism appear to have no concept of depression or many of the other psychological problems suffered by many in this part of the world.
If we continue to follow the principle of greed, selfishness and the survival of the fittest as natures way then we will have to accept a corresponding increase in rates of depression and other psychological conditions. On the other hand, If we are serious about improving the mental and emotional health of the nation and to lift people out of depression we need to develop ideas and policies that create more community involvement.
If you want to maintain emotional balance in your life, engaging with your community may be one piece of the puzzle.
I wonder if David Cameron’s idea of ‘The Big Society’ will ever catch on?
