Welcome to our Blog

Make time for yourself every day and don’t feel selfish about it. A small area of each day devoted to yourself will become high value time and act as an excellent restorative. You will be nicer to others if you learn to be nicer to yourself.

You may do this already without even being aware that this is what you are doing. For example if you are a smoker you might use your smoking habit as an excuse for having a break at regular intervals at work. We all need breaks from routine tasks like sitting in front of the computer for long periods. Most employers will accept that smokers can have a cigarette break but imagine the response if you asked for a meditation break or time to re-charge your batteries by power- napping!

The same applies to holidays especially if you are self-employed. Business coach Julia Miles http://www.qedcoaching.co.uk/index.html recommends, that if you are a business owner, the first thing you should do at the start of the year is to schedule and diarise your holidays for the year.

When you take time out for yourself during the day or in the evening  try and avoid smoking, drinking alcohol, drinking caffeine or eating sugary foods because your brain will begin to associate pleasure and relaxation with these activities  and before you realise it you have developed a habit that can be hard to break. Instead do something that makes you feel good and re-energises you.

Self-hypnosis is a powerful tool for relaxation and an aid to re-energising and boosting your performance. If you would like to learn how to use self-hypnosis to improve your life contact The Spence Practice today http://www.hypnostressmanager.co.uk/contact.php

Learn to accept what you cannot change. Some problems can’t be avoided; simply accepting what has happened will lessen stress. Having a sense of autonomy and control over your life is a powerful feeling but you can’t control everything and everybody.

Acceptance is also an effective way of dealing with negative emotions such as anger, fear, sadness, hurt and guilt. Acceptance is a neutral word, you are not saying that it is good or bad to feel angry. You are acknowledging the emotion at which point you can decide on the most appropriate way to deal with it.

If you struggle to handle your emotions without resorting to cigarettes, alcohol or other recreational or medicinal drugs contact the spence practice today to find out if we can help you naturally without the need for pills, patches or potions. 

If you have any tips on how to minimise stress and you would like to share them on this blog please contact us.

Talk regularly with someone you really trust (not necessarily your partner) and preferably someone you are not emotionally connected to. Another person may be able to offer a different perspective on your life. Talking to others can be a sounding board for creating new ideas and it can act as a mirror. When you talk to someone who is a good listener your thoughts and ideas will often come back to you in a different form. ‘A problem shared is a problem halved;’ is often quoted.

If you don’t talk about your problems what will happen to your internal thoughts and dialogue? You might act on them which could be fatal if your thoughts are very negative.

Talking is going to solve more problems than guns, bullets and bombs as we have witnessed in Northern Ireland. There is now a realisation that the Taliban will not be defeated with bombs and bullets in Afganistan and ‘winning hearts and minds’ is now the main goal. Talking to the Taliban and their supporters with the aim of persuading them to put down their arms  is the best way forward for a lasting peace.

It is also important to recognise that talking needs to be followed up with action which is why we combine life coaching with hypnotherapy at TheSpencePractice. Whatever is learnt in a therapy session needs to be acted on post therapy to ensure that change becomes embedded.

If you don’t have the right people to talk to in your life we may be able to help you. Please get in touch.

Manage your time effectively

Plan ahead and manage your time more effectively. How many times have you said “there just aren’t enough hours in the day”. The number of hours in a day are outside your control, they are not a variable so accept it and realise that it is what you do with the time available to you that counts. Two of the biggest time wasters are procrastination and distractions from emails and telephone calls.

To help you prioritise consider Pareto’s principle called the 80/20 rule  http://www.timemanagementfordummies.com/ which states that 20% of tasks can give you 80% of the results. It has been said that if you fail to plan that you plan to fail. Learn to make time work for you, not against you. Develop systems that work for you at work and in your home life. There are many self-help books and programmes to help you improve your time management. I can recommend Time Management for Dummies by ClareEvans http://www.whsmith.co.uk/CatalogAndSearch/ProductDetails.aspx?productId=9780470777657&shop=10004&type=Froogle .

Are you someone who manages their time at work effectively by being very systematic but live in a world of chaos in your home life, which means that you have the resources to manage your time but don’t choose to use them.

If you struggle with your time and don’t have time to read self-help books then maybe you need some coaching. If that’s the case please call us to see if we can help.

Work off stress, get physical!

Do you get frustrated and irritated with yourself  and others when you feel under pressure and stress is getting on top of you. If you can, avoid losing your temper and do something physical instead. Even if its just a quick walk round the garden or car park will help. Preferably, choose something that gets the air deep in your lungs, especially if you spend a lot of time indoors at work. Being outside in the fresh air brings you closer to nature. Its difficult to get irritated by trees, plants, birds and animals.

Whatever physical exercise you choose,  do it regularly to help prevent the effects of stress building up. In addition, being more active will help you to remain healthier and slimmer. So that you remain motivated to be active, avoid activities you don’t enjoy, which means not going to the gym if you are doing it because you feel you should. Instead do more of what gives you pleasure, whether (as in my case) its taking part in competitive sport or dancing or yoga or swimming or cycling or perhaps just going for vigorous walks with the dog.

If you are restricted by a lack of time (see next tip on Time Management) try and become more active with your day to day activities. Use the stairs at work instead of the lift, walk up and down the escalators on your way to the train. Walk the children to school and leave the car at home. If you are really stuck for time walk up and down your stairs 10 or more times in one go, every day.

When you are being physically active your body releases beta-endorphins into your system making you feel hopeful and optimistic and even euphoric on occasions. Beta-endorphins help you to manage pain and to be sensitive, sympathetic and solution-focused.

If you lack the motivation to be more active, resulting in weight increase and possibly stress contact The Spence Practice today to see if we might be able to help you http://www.hypnostressmanager.co.uk/contact.php

Learn how to delegate.

Are you one of those people who likes to do everything yourself because you think you can do it better than anyone else or you don’t trust someone else to do the job properly? Or perhaps you are a business owner and you take on tasks that you shouldn’t be doing to save money.

At work, if you supervise or manage others, you will probably know the importance of delegating work to your colleagues. Delegation, if done properly, creates a win-win result because it means that you can focus on the things you do well and let others reduce your workload by doing the things you are not so good at or the time consuming tasks that prevent you from dealing with priorities. It helps your colleagues too because they can receive training, learn new skills and get more satisfaction from their work and feel more valued because in effect you are saying that you trust them.

As a business owner your strength might be sales but if you spend all day dealing with your administration and book-keeping you won’t make any sales. In the long-term you would probably be more successful if you paid for a PA or secretary or book-keeper, either as an employee or outsource to a PA service. I can recommend Rachel Brown at http://www.secretary-outsource.com/ or if you employ staff you could outsource your payroll to Mike Steer at  http://www.payline.co.uk/

Delegation can work well at home too if you do it in the right way. For example, are you a mother with children and/or a partner who doesn’t lift a finger when it comes to housework. He is watching TV in the evenings whilst you are still ironing and cleaning and the kids are playing computer games whilst their bedrooms are a complete mess. It doesn’t have to be that way. If you could learn better communication skills you will be able to influence those around you and learn to delegate so that you can put your feet up for a change!

If you want to learn how to become good at influencing other people contact the spence practice today. http://www.hypnostressmanager.co.uk/contact.php

Over the next few weeks I am going to be sharing with you my top 20 tips to help you manage and reduce levels of stress.

In the modern western civilised part of the world, we have created a stressful environment in which to live. Despite the demands from other people, whether it be family, friends or colleagues; the greatest demands and pressures are usually exerted from within.

Stress tip no 1 is to be realistic about yourself. Perfection takes a lot of time and is usually unnecessary and unrealistic. The constant search for perfection can be draining physically and mentally. Its often unachievable too which can then make you feel like a failure. People with perfectionist tendencies can become anxious and even depressed because they are not achieving the high levels of performance they demand from themselves. They often forget their successes and just focus on what they have not achieved yet.

Its good to strive to be the best that we can be but it is necessary sometimes to accept that time or other pressures do not allow you to provide a rolls royce service and that the Skoda will get the job done.

Its also important to accept that imperfect is good because it means that there is always room for improvement. It means that big shocks can occur in the sporting world such as my team Leeds beating the mighty Manchester United in the FA cup a few weeks ago. It means that you can enjoy a piece of music or perhaps a vocalist because his or her voice is unique or perhaps quirky rather than having a perfect singing voice.

It was mentioned on a recent TV documentary about Brian Eno that since the advent of drum machines that drummers have become more machine like in performance whereas there used to be more different styles of drumming.

When the Navaho Indians weave their beautiful rugs and blankets they always leave a knot, a tiny imperfection so that the gods will not be angered and think that the weaver is trying to be a god. 

If you have a tendency towards perfection you might want to consider lowering your expectations, learn to accept mistakes as useful learning and feedback and instead of trying to do too much concentrate on doing a few things well!

Look out for my next tip on the ability to delegate.